A lot had been made about how "Good" a couple of our 12u players are. They play the game smooth, kind of look like big girls when they set, or cut shot. I love watching them play. That kind of thing is why I do what I do
And while I, as father of one of them, strongly agree with the opinion :-), nobody seems to remember the process it has been, when they were just little twerps in the sand losing a lot of points... this was their start, the "ignition of their fire".
They might have scored 5 points in their first match, maybe 20 in their first tourney. We parents sat and watched, and cheered. The thought of coaching them during the match seemed absurd.
The expectation of greatness was real, as in "a real long ways away".
Know: Beach volleyball, like a good pot roast, takes time! You have to let it COOK!
The enjoyment of watching these girls little, wholesome struggle against the game and their own coordination was far too valuable to ruin with caustic sideline comments - These comments more often than not convey one message:
"You are not good enough for me".
It kills ignition.
I am reminded of something that happened years ago, so 'traumatizing' to me, I think, that only now do I write about it. I remember thinking 'blog this'. But I did not.
During a 12U (beach) tourney, a 10 year old player (girl) called a timeout. With tears welling up and a tremored voice she came to the hudel... "My dad.. he's ...mad .. at me".
Dads "cheering" had sounded angry and disapproving and to that little girl it was crushing, was killing her fire for the game.
"Move your feet!"
Have you ever said that?
"Call the ball!".
Guilty?
No doubt that girl was also in for "the ride home". She would get to re-visit every screw up and mistake.
That little girl didn't care about the winning (she was 10).
She was playing for dad, not the score.
She wanted dads approval, not a $4 medal.
She wanted to show DAD all of the hard work she had put in over the last few months, but that didn't matter now.
The good plays she had made were now nothing because dads sideline tone said so.
"You are not good enough for me"
I wanted to scream at dad.
Little girl no longer plays. Fire is out. No more games.
The process of becoming a player takes years not days, people.
Your player WILL make mistakes.
Your player MUST endure losing in order to win.
Balls will hit the ground. Serves will miss.
Don't ruin the ride. Don't kill the fire.
Be patient. Be part of it. Let it cook
Rule 1. Never be a kids last coach (dad).
That is the only rule.
Observe:
Dissy and Izzy 2014, as 8 and 9 years old.
Sound on. Parents are positive.
They play very sloppy.
They were allowed to serve in front of the line, and didn't win the game.
Watch
Ugly but fun.
They were mosquitoes.. just small annoyances to the opponent. We cheered. We laughed with them at dumb, valuable errors. We ENCOURAGE them to try BIGGER errors.
Many loses happened.
Growth.
Last summer, 2 YEARS of training later, as 10U and 11U.
Watch
Better, because we stoked the fire, fanned the flame...
We will see how they do in 2 weeks - (BVCA 2018) 11U and 12U
Odds of some wins: 80%
Odds of some loses: 100%
And so we will let it cook.
Some more.
Volley on.
-Hoff
